Nailing Woodpeckers to the Wall

Nailing Woodpeckers to the Wall

Couldn't sell this one, either.

Nailing Woodpeckers to the Wall

Several years ago, my wife and I had a builder create our dream home, out in the country. There was a lapse of several months from when he finished it, to when we were ready to move in, because our son was in his senior year of high school. It would have been impractical for him to make the drive every day, so we waited.

One Saturday, we drove up to the new house—and saw what at first glance looked like vandalism! There were holes in the screens, damage to the wood siding—enough that it was obvious as soon as we opened the car doors. What had happened?

Woodpeckers are what happened. As far as they were concerned, this was a weird kind of tree—and well worth attacking. We gathered a variety of suggestions on how to discourage them from continuing their marauding—of which the most stark in its simplicity was: use an air rifle to shoot one, and nail it to the outside of the house. I was told that the rest would see their fallen comrade, and leave our house alone.

This was a bit too redneck for me to seriously consider, but I now see another use for that same strategy. Where the birds were destroying our future house, now it is bird-brains in the House destroying our future—and figuratively, at least, it’s time to get out the hammer and nails.

There are two special elections for the House of Representatives next month: one in Hawaii, one in Pennsylvania. The national Democratic Party is absolutely terrified that if Republicans win these two traditionally Democratic seats, it will throw a scare into other Democratic Congresscritters across the country. Yes: rather like nailing a woodpecker to the outside of the house.

Both races are really quite astonishing—with the Democratic machine in Hawaii apparently quite badly split over who to support. There are two Democrats and one Republican in the race—and this is a winner takes all race. The Republican could win the election with 40% of the vote, if the Democrats split the other 60% evenly.

The district in Pennsylvania, while having a strong lead in Democratic registration, is not exactly blue state territory. At least part of why John Murtha managed to hold the seat as long as he did is that he was, until part-way through the Iraq War, a pretty seriously hawkish Democrat. One of the Democratic strategists interviewed in that Politico article described it having “a lot of ‘Pennsyltucky’ action….” (At least he didn’t start humming “Dueling Banjos.”)

Like many parts of America, it has a lot of Democrats who love America, but were bought off by John Murtha’s ability to bring home the pork. As Americans start to look at the future with genuine concern, the Democrats have reason to be concerned.

I can’t quite tell from Charles Djou’s website if he is a conservative, libertarian, or one of those RINOs that irritate me—but I do know that a RINO winning that special election would be a good thing. I’ve just made a modest contribution to Charles Djou’s campaign for Congress in Hawaii.

Tim Burns, who is running to replace the late John Murtha, is no question, not a RINO. He is a conservative. I’ve just made a slightly larger contribution to Tim Burns’ campaign. If you are serious about stopping the Democratic bird-brains before they knock all our houses down—it’s time to put your money where you mouth is. It’s time to terrify Democratic members of Congress with the prospect of joining the unemployed.

UPDATE: The link to Tim Burns' campaign was broken.  Fixed now.